Build A Positive Life

We all spend so much time and effort to bring off the holidays that it is no surprise how many people experience post-holiday letdown.  All the guests have gone home, the pretty glow of the lights and decorations have been packed away, the bills have come rolling in, and perhaps the pounds have also crept up.

How To Prevent Post-Holiday Letdown

There are any number of ways to keep the normal post-holiday letdown from catching a firm hold on you.  Below are some of them, and hopefully these will trigger even more ideas you can add to the list.

1. Leave a few of your clear lights up, say to decorate a large plant or wrapped around a lamp pole the rest of the winter to keep part of that warm soft-light glow alive.  Baby your poinsettias along for as long as possible, too.  Keep a few red and green pillows and throws on the sofa and chairs, too, throughout the cold months of the years.  These simple moves prevent an abrupt interruption in the warm, cheerful atmosphere.
2. If you need to make returns, wait a week or so until the rush immediately following the holidays dies down a bit.  It can prevent your exhausted self from experiencing the frustration of standing in long lines.  Do return them, though, and if you’re totally bummed out by the post-holiday bills you know will be coming in, consider a refund as opposed to an exchange, and put it towards those bills.
3. And speaking of the bills, pay them promptly to avoid the additional expense of late fees or rising interest rates.  Pay more than the minimum on any credit cards, and if you have a tax refund coming, put part of all of it toward your holiday debt.
4. The hoopla was great, but exhausting, so for a couple of weeks, keep your family activities quiet and low-key.  Enjoy some feel-good movies or board games.
5. Enlist the help of the whole family to put the house back in shape in the matter of a few hours.
6. Keep family meals lightweight and simple, and go for walks together out in the fresh air.  This will help melt away any extra pounds, relax you all, and rejuvenate you.
7. Sneak some quiet time alone for reading or napping, either alone or with your sweetie.  It’s a good time to unwind alone, or reconnect together, whichever you most need.

Enjoy the holidays, and with these simple tips, enjoy the days and weeks afterward, as well

Karen

Health and Wellness, Holidays Holidays, post holiday letdown, prevent post holiday letdown

As time passes, do you find that you’re dreading the holidays more than looking forward to them?  Remember being a kid and feeling such a sense of joy and anticipation when the holiday season rolled around?  What happened to all that?

When you feel like the holidays have become more of a burden that a pleasure, their are ways to reclaim some of that childhood joy.

Identify Those Things That Cause Your Holiday Stress

The first way to beat holiday stress is to know which things cause it.

The stresses will vary from person to person.  While Joe might love decorating the outside of the house, Alan may hate it.  And your neighbor Marie loves all the shopping and baking, but you’re too busy these days to feel that it is anything but an exhausting habit, a tradition you just can’t seem to let go.

The extrovert loves all the gatherings and parties, while the introvert would rather celebrate in a more quiet or slower-paced way.

Once you’ve defined your particular stress makers, rest assured that whatever they are, none of them make you a scrooge.  We all have them, and while some people don’t mind talking bah humbug, others hide the dirty little secret of holiday burnout from  a misguided sense of guilt.  I mean, isn’t everyone supposed to get into the hurr- hurry rush-rush of the season and actually enjoy it? 

Um…not really.  We’re human.  We have unique tastes and unique limits, yes?

Eliminating Your Holiday Stress Triggers

Once you’ve identified exactly what about the holidays have you exhausted one week into the season, you can eliminate them, and any residues of guilt over having done so.

If you want to keep certain things, but hate the hassle, simplify those things.  Often, less really is more, so eliminate half, or more, of all those outdoor lights you hate hanging.  One beautifully decorated row of shrubs beneath the front windows (easy to manage) and a huge pre-lighted LED wreath makes a simple, but beautiful statement.  Or aim a few colored spotlights that create images all by themselves on your outside walls.

Do you keep on sending cards and gifts to people you haven’t seen in a decade just because that’s what you’ve always done?  We can all just stop, right?  And place our major energy, focus, and cash where it counts the most.

Or better yet, we can make some of the gifts ourselves, or put together family-sized goodie baskets rather than buying individual gifts for relatives and friends. 

Shop online this year, and stay within your budget.  Don’t worry about what others might think of the cost of the gift.  Those in the know really do appreciate the thought the most.  I, for one, love getting the simpler little things, or the company of people rather than something that I know will have broken the givers budget in two!

Buy the goodies ready-made for that dinner or the big party.  Really, it’s ok!  And if you can’t afford that, go potluck or buffet style, and ask everyone to bring a dish to pass.

If you still want to add the personal touch to those yearly cookies, buy several rolls of refrigerated cookie dough, slice and bake them, and add your special touch by decorating them.

Cut out half of the parties or events you normally attend, keeping only the ones you actually enjoy.  If you can’t bear to do that, but still want to ease the load, attend each on alternate years.

If they no longer have meaning, eliminate certain traditions or begin new ones that would add special meaning to your holiday.

If you sincerely have energy left over, save the money you’d normally spend on that last minute shopping trip that isn’t really necessary, and do something wonderful for the needy.

One thing I’ve done in my own life is to embrace the spiritual side of the holidays as opposed to secular side.  That in itself has made a huge difference.

This is your one go-round here on earth, and the holidays only come one each per year, so remake them in a way that will allow you to look forward to them again with the joy you knew as a child.  And absolutely steer clear of guilt any time its little voice tries to invade your more peaceful mind.

Any ideas to add?  Please do )

Health and Wellness, Holidays

photo credit: Ramona.Forcella

A few years ago, it was recommended by so-called experts that women could dispense with their monthly breast self-exams, as few cancers were found that way anyway.  What??  Not long before that, statistics showed that most breast lumps were discovered by women themselves, often in the shower!  And every single breast cancer survivor I know, and yes, those who did not survive, did indeed discover the original lump themselves.

Two days ago, more so-called experts recommended dumping the idea of yearly mammograms for all women, and recommended that women under 40 need not get them at all.  The reasons for the recommendation?  To spare women the “minimal” pain of the mammogram itself, to prevent false positives and resultant needless biopsies.  And the lamest excuse of all?  To prevent the women “worry” as they waited for test results.   Have these same experts checked the statistics lately of how many women under 40 do indeed contract breast cancer?  The most recent news making case was the breast cancer discovered in a girl 10 years old.

They should probably also check statistics say, over a 10 year period, of how many women’s lives were saved, including those under 40, by early detection of cancerous tumors…by mammogram.

Today, another announcement by “experts” regarding women and cancer:  no one under 21 needs to be checked for cervical cancer.  After 21 years of age, once yearly will do.  After age 30, only once every two years.

I would love to tell them of how many teens I personally know, or know of, who’ve successfully survived treatment of survical cancers caught early…when said women were in their teens.

Another alarming fact:  most tests and studies done on heart disease are done on men, even though heart disease is also the number one killer of women.

How convenient that as we come closer to adopting huge changes regarding drug and insurance companies and over hauling the current and long-standing health care system, that these recommendations are coming day to day.

What is really at the heart of the matter?  Surely not the flimsy reasons given, but rather, as almost any American, male or female could tell you…money.  Money is at the heart of too many matters, including those which can save or cost lives.  Who can put a price on even one life?

Is being a female a “pre-existing condition?”  I read that not long ago in a news article.  I’m leaning toward answering:  yes!

What is your take?

Health and Wellness, women breast exams, cancer in women, cervical exams, new recommendations for women and cancer checks, women's health

photo credit: alancleaver_2000

As do many people, I love to burn candles, especially in the colder, darker months of the year.  And vanilla scented?  Those are my favorite.  But have you ever noticed the black oily film that can get on things when you’ve burned a lot of candles or ones that are especially large?  And we’ve all seen the soot that collects on the side of glass candle holders.

Let’s also discuss allergies.  Ever wondered why sometimes you feel stuffy inside your home and sometimes not?  Have you considered that it might be the candles you burn?

Candles, Carcinogens, and Allergies

I was surprised to learn that some candles emit things that are unhealthy, things like carcinogens, which most of us know can be toxic over time.  Think cigarettes or fuel emissions, for instance.  Who knew that an innocent candle, with all of the great atmosphere it can create, was also guilty of emitting carcinogens?

And the scented candles I love best?  Who knew that when synthetic fragrance is used in candles it is also guilty of emitting countless hazardous chemicals into the air?
So next time you wonder if you’re allergic to something in your home, try to figure out if it might be the candles you’re burning.

The worst offenders are paraffin wax candles, as paraffin is a form of petroleum.  Couple that with the chemicals in synthetic fragrances, and you’ve likely discovered the source of your allergy.  It’s the indoor pollution created by those lovely candles we burn.

While burning the occasional popular kind of candles sold in most stores is unlikely to cause you harm, using a lot of them at one time or burning them each day is another matter.

Try these safer alternatives:  soy candles or beeswax candles with cotton wicks.

If you love fragrance, make sure only natural essences are used.  Or buy plain healthy candles for that warm glow of light they provide and scent your home with such things as real cinnamon sticks simmering on the stove, or citrus peels and pine cones set here and there in pretty bowls. 

Do you love to burn candles as much as I do?  Were you already aware of the dangers in some of them? 

If you’ve found alternative ways to create atmosphere and pleasant aromas in your home, please feel free to share them.

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“Everything matters, but not everything matters equally,” a preacher once told our congregation. 

The wisdom in that simple statement has stayed with me for years.  Lately, everything seems urgent.   So much to get done each day, and the days zoom by so quickly.  As we juggle home, family and extended family, friends, jobs, and everything else we want to cram in, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by it all.  That has been me lately.  If you have been feeling similar, let’s discuss it.

Today, as I recalled the wise tidbit from a preacher long ago, I realized that it is time to do some reprioritizing.  What worked months, or even weeks ago, is not working any more. 

We are bombarded daily with how things “should” be done.  How to juggle work and family, how to clean the kitchen or garage quickly and efficiently, how to take proper care of family, how to blog, how to make more money, how to save the earth…you get the idea.

Prioritizing Is Not a One-size-fits-all Garment

The trouble with all that advice is that it will work for a few or maybe even for many.  But will it work for me?  Will it work for you?  Not necessarily.  Customizing our priorities to suit our individual lives and needs, you might say, could be our first priority.

Only we can decide in what order to put things that matter, and which things matter more than others.  Trying on someone elses priority list is fine, as long as the fit is right.  If it confines movement and growth, itches and pinches, doesn’t cover enough, or hangs too loosely and trips us, we’ll know immediately that we are in need of a custom priority designer.

Ways To Customize The Priority Fit

   1.  Go the do-it-yourself route.  No one knows what fits your needs as well as you do.

   2.  When you’re so over-whelmed you’ve lost sight of your needs, there are books, coaches, and courses online and off to get you started and keep you going. 

   3.  Shop around.  Try things on.  Keep what works and toss what doesn’t.

   4.  Take a holistic approach to customizing your priorities.  Factor in body, mind, and spirit.  Neglecting one area leads to the collapse of the entire design.

   5.  Don’t forget to put yourself at the top of your priority list.  Rather than being a selfish thing to do, it is really a necessary thing to care for yourself to accomplish the rest of your priorities.

One Ammendment To The Preacher’s Statement

“Everything matters, but not everything matters equally.  And some things really don’t matter at all.”

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Your input is always appreciated, so feel free to share it in the comment section.

Karen Chaffee 2009

Health and Wellness, Self Development Priorities, Self Development, Setting Priorities